And Never Stop Dancing

Fear – of change, of intimacy, of loss, of the unknown – has become a corrosive influence in modern life, eroding our ability to think clearly and make good decisions. Exploited for power by politicians and for money by the media, fear has become embedded in the way we think about our lives. Overcoming fear though the exercise of courage, says Gordon Livingston, constitutes the most difficult struggle we face.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”                                                                                    -Eleanor Roosevelt

And Never Stop Dancing

Dr. Gordon Livingston’s national bestseller, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, has drawn tens of thousands of readers who have embraced its thirty bedrock truths about life and how best to live it. Now, in And Never Stop Dancing, Dr. Livingston – a Vietnam War veteran, psychiatrist, and parent twice bereaved – offers thirty more true things we need to know now. The fresh truths Dr. Livingston explores include: Paradox governs our lives. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves, “We are defined by what we fear. As we grow old, the beauty steals inward. Once again, here are Dr. Livingston’s sterling qualities: a deep understanding of the emotional tumult that courses through our lives – our hidden hypocrisies, desires, and evasions; an unerring sense of what is important; and his own ability to persevere – to hope – in a world he knows to be capable of inflicting unjustifiable and lifelong suffering. These qualities – plus his perfectly pitched sense of humor and a singular voice – add up to another extraordinary book – one which, like its predecessor, offers us a gentle, generous, and unusual alternative to the trial-and-error learning that makes wisdom such an expensive commodity.

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart

From a psychiatrist who has spent the past thirty years listening to other people’s most intimate secrets and troubles-an eloquent, incisive, and deeply perceptive book about the things we all share-and which every one of us grapples with as we strive to make the most of the life we have left. After service in Vietnam as a surgeon for the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment m 1968-69, at the height of the war, Dr. Gordon Livingston returned to the U.S. and began work as a psychiatrist. In that capacity, he has listened to people talk about their lives-what works, what doesn’t-and the limitless ways (most of them self-inflicted) that we have found to be unhappy. He is also a parent twice bereaved. In one thirteen-month period, he lost his eldest son to suicide, his youngest to leukemia. Out of a lifetime of experience, Livingston has extracted thirty bedrock truths: We are what we do, Any relationship IS under the control of the person who cares the least. The perfect is the enemy of the good. Only bad things happen quickly. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas. Livingston illuminates these and twenty-four others in a series of carefully hewn, perfectly calibrated essays, many of which emphasize our closest relationships and the things that we do to impede or, less frequently, enhance them. Again and again, these essays underscore that “We are what we do,” and that while there may be no escaping who we are, we also have the capacity to face loss, misfortune, and regret and to move beyond them-that it is not too late. Full of things we may know but have not articulated to ourselves, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart is a gentle and generous alternative to the trial-and-error learning that makes wisdom such an expensive commodity. For everyone who feels a sense of urgency that the clock ticks and still we aren’t the person we’d like to be, it offers solace, guidance, and hope.

Only Spring

The loss of a child is every parent’s worst fear. Gordon Livingston survived that tragedy, not once but twice, in successive years. Only Spring, crafted from his journal, traces his son Lucas’s courageous battle with leukemia. his extraordinary gift of love, and Livingston’s own cycle of faith lost and hope regained. This edition includes a new epilogue by the author.

How to Love

This book is about the mistakes we make in forming relationships. especially those close connections that lead to marriage. We know from divorce statistics that our lunges into matrimony turn out to be calamitous misjudgments at least half the time. If we add to that marriages that endure but are unsatisfying it is clear that we are not making informed choices about whom to marry. There is a body of knowledge about personality structure that suggests that certain traits, notably self-absorption on the one hand and kindness on the other, that are discernible early in life and are remarkably stable over time. If this i formation can be taught to us while we are young, we might have a better chance of choosing people to avoid and people to cherish with beneficial effects on our long term happiness.

Read excerpts from the book ]]> http://www.gordonlivingston.com/test/feed/ 0 http://www.gordonlivingston.com/and-never-stop-dancing/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=and-never-stop-dancing http://www.gordonlivingston.com/and-never-stop-dancing/#comments Thu, 05 May 2011 13:37:31 +0000 admin http://www.gordonlivingston.com/dev/?p=312 Continue reading →]]>

And Never Stop Dancing

Dr. Gordon Livingston’s national bestseller, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, has drawn tens of thousands of readers who have embraced its thirty bedrock truths about life and how best to live it. Now, in And Never Stop Dancing, Dr. Livingston – a Vietnam War veteran, psychiatrist, and parent twice bereaved – offers thirty more true things we need to know now. The fresh truths Dr. Livingston explores include: Paradox governs our lives. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves, “We are defined by what we fear. As we grow old, the beauty steals inward. Once again, here are Dr. Livingston’s sterling qualities: a deep understanding of the emotional tumult that courses through our lives – our hidden hypocrisies, desires, and evasions; an unerring sense of what is important; and his own ability to persevere – to hope – in a world he knows to be capable of inflicting unjustifiable and lifelong suffering. These qualities – plus his perfectly pitched sense of humor and a singular voice – add up to another extraordinary book – one which, like its predecessor, offers us a gentle, generous, and unusual alternative to the trial-and-error learning that makes wisdom such an expensive commodity.

Read excerpts from the book ]]> http://www.gordonlivingston.com/and-never-stop-dancing/feed/ 0 http://www.gordonlivingston.com/too-soon-old-too-late-smart/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=too-soon-old-too-late-smart http://www.gordonlivingston.com/too-soon-old-too-late-smart/#comments Thu, 05 May 2011 13:31:07 +0000 admin http://www.gordonlivingston.com/dev/?p=315 Continue reading →]]>

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart

From a psychiatrist who has spent the past thirty years listening to other people’s most intimate secrets and troubles-an eloquent, incisive, and deeply perceptive book about the things we all share-and which every one of us grapples with as we strive to make the most of the life we have left. After service in Vietnam as a surgeon for the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment m 1968-69, at the height of the war, Dr. Gordon Livingston returned to the U.S. and began work as a psychiatrist. In that capacity, he has listened to people talk about their lives-what works, what doesn’t-and the limitless ways (most of them self-inflicted) that we have found to be unhappy. He is also a parent twice bereaved. In one thirteen-month period, he lost his eldest son to suicide, his youngest to leukemia. Out of a lifetime of experience, Livingston has extracted thirty bedrock truths: We are what we do, Any relationship IS under the control of the person who cares the least. The perfect is the enemy of the good. Only bad things happen quickly. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas. Livingston illuminates these and twenty-four others in a series of carefully hewn, perfectly calibrated essays, many of which emphasize our closest relationships and the things that we do to impede or, less frequently, enhance them. Again and again, these essays underscore that “We are what we do,” and that while there may be no escaping who we are, we also have the capacity to face loss, misfortune, and regret and to move beyond them-that it is not too late. Full of things we may know but have not articulated to ourselves, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart is a gentle and generous alternative to the trial-and-error learning that makes wisdom such an expensive commodity. For everyone who feels a sense of urgency that the clock ticks and still we aren’t the person we’d like to be, it offers solace, guidance, and hope.

Read excerpts from the book ]]> http://www.gordonlivingston.com/too-soon-old-too-late-smart/feed/ 0 http://www.gordonlivingston.com/only-spring/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=only-spring http://www.gordonlivingston.com/only-spring/#comments Thu, 05 May 2011 12:53:36 +0000 admin http://www.gordonlivingston.com/dev/?p=320 Continue reading →]]>

Only Spring

The loss of a child is every parent’s worst fear. Gordon Livingston survived that tragedy, not once but twice, in successive years. Only Spring, crafted from his journal, traces his son Lucas’s courageous battle with leukemia. his extraordinary gift of love, and Livingston’s own cycle of faith lost and hope regained. This edition includes a new epilogue by the author.

]]> http://www.gordonlivingston.com/only-spring/feed/ 0 http://www.gordonlivingston.com/and-never-stop-dancing-thirty-more-things-you-need-to-know-now/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=and-never-stop-dancing-thirty-more-things-you-need-to-know-now http://www.gordonlivingston.com/and-never-stop-dancing-thirty-more-things-you-need-to-know-now/#comments Tue, 03 May 2011 19:27:03 +0000 admin http://www.gordonlivingston.com/dev/?p=162 Continue reading →]]> [The book is a] compendium of useful humanistic advice for getting through life with grace and a sense of joy…This slender volume is full of wisdom and written with a generous spirit that will appeal even to those who don’t usually read self-help books.
Publishers Weekly

So much wisdom, so many quotable aphorisms in such a compact book. Read it!
Rabbi Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People

Secrets for joyful living spill forth. We learn that the most precious gift is learning o forgive ourselves, especially when we indulge in the illusion that we can control everything.
Mehmet Oz, M.D., professor and vice chairman of surgery, New York Presbyterian/Columbia Medical
Center, co-author of You: The Owner’s Manual

For this 30-year counselor educator, Dr. Livingston’s book is a gem. It will be required reading for my future grad students in counseling. It is also an excellent stimulus book for “courageous” people IN counseling.
Dr. Bill McCrone, Gallaudet University, Washington, D.C.

My husband and I have read it together and we’ve both picked it up individually to go back to sections that speak to us personally. It is a small book in size, but it’s packed with wisdom, understanding, authenticity and a reminder that we humans are all in this game of life together – and isn’t that a wonderful thing!
R. Mellville-Burns

I think that this book should be a book that is required in high school. It has things in there that people learn the hard way. Sometimes people learn from others and sometimes they need to make there own mistakes. This book is not only is totally truthful but there is at least one thing in there that almost everyone can relate to. It gives you answers and meaning. I got it from the library and could not put it down I read it in one hour. I am going out today buying my own copy and putting it on my coffee table so everyone that comes over can get a chance to read it. I have decided I am buying a copy for everyone I care about for Christmas. This is a MUST READ BOOK.
Angel Cromwell

I wish I’d been able to read this book twenty years ago, when I was in my twenties — it could have saved a lot of heartache.
Smish

This is a terrific book. Don’t miss it!
Eugene A. Jewett

TOO SOON OLD, TOO LATE SMART is a brief compendium of an experienced therapist’s accumulated wisdom, honed both by his work with his patients and by his own experiences with extraordinary personal loss. Each short chapter discusses a truth about how to negotiate the emotional and interpersonal dilemmas with which we all must deal in our journey through life. A common thread throughout the book is the author’s belief in our responsibility for our choices and their consequences. Within this context, he debunks the validity of widely accepted clinical entities such as Dissociative Identity Disorder and Adult Attention Deficit Disorder that he believes are often used as excuses to mitigate responsibility for behavior. While at times opinionated, Dr. Livington’s work contains enough pearls of wisdom to instruct the lives of any reader willing to undertake the self-examination and self-discipline essential to living a full and satisfying life.
Richard Moskovitz, M.D., psychiatrist and author of CAROUSEL MUSIC: A NOVEL and LOST IN THE
MIRROR: AN INSIDE LOOK AT BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.

These 30 essays by Gordon Livingston, are poignant, witty and highly relevant. He looks at life with a “we’re all in this together” stance that makes this a quick and easy read. However, his musings are deep and thoughtful. You are likely to be rereading or mulling over and over his words of wisdom. Unlike most erudite psychiatrists, he doesn’t pontificate or give advice, but merely offers his conclusions for your examination.
Sandra Stoltz

This is a very deep, true book about how human beings work. I was really impressed by the knowledge of this man. He is like an “old fashioned” spiritual teacher who tells you that it will take some time and some hard work for you to change (in contrast to the remedies of modern American culture, which are all about quick fixes and instant success with little or no cost to oneself).
“John”

Doctor Livingston is also a great teacher. In this short volume of essays he tells it like it is regarding the things we do in life to sabotage our own happiness. He presents complex ideas in a simple and engaging manner.
Without the usual pop-psychology catch-phrases, Livingston manages to make the reader question assumptions, think in new ways, and even hope that it might not be too late to take control of the way we react to the events of our lives.
Linda Painchaud-Steinman, Park Edge Books

The first sentence of “The Road Less Traveled”, by Scott Peck, M.D., states that, “Life is difficult”. After reading Gordon Livingston’s book, one understands the truth of that simple declarative sentence. However, I was most impressed by the courage displayed by the author in responding to the pain that was dealt to him by life. This courage, in combination with wisdom and insight, into the mysteries of our everyday life, confers a rare legitimacy to Dr. Livingston’s observations.
I recommend this book without reservation. The insights are valuable, but the writing is a joy.
Dr. Thomas Ferguson

This concise book is Dr. Livington’s presentation of — what he considers — the 30 most important pieces of advice worth imparting based on his professional experience as a psychiatrist and personal experience as a bereaved parent. The details he reveals re: his life and how he coped w/ the loss of two(!) sons is both encouraging and moving. Livingston wastes no time in telling you how it really is: “We are what we do”. I could not agree more — the eventual realization of this truth is immediately empowering, albeit somewhat unsettling, since you now ought to realize (if you didn’t already) the weakness and futility of empty promises & broken commitments. I enjoyed this book, if nothing else, because Dr. Livingston writes with a voice that knows pain, courage, and grief firsthand — in direct contrast to most of the “self-help” books currently on the market.
Kthdimension – Washington, DC

I can’t say enough about this book. It helped me personally and professionally. I have recommended it to just about everyone I know. I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t benefit from reading this book.
Dan Davis Maloney, author of “Miko and Tori”

As a 30 year counselor educator, Dr. Livingston’s book is a gem. It will be required reading for my future grad students in counseling. It is also an excellent stimulus book for ‘courageous” people IN counseling.
Dr. Bill McCrone, Gallaudet University, Washington, D.C.

Although it shares shelf-space with “Purpose Driven Life” and Mitch Albom, this book is actually a more insightful, deeper-reaching look into what is most important in life, a subject we don’t really appreciate until our 40s and 50s. Well-written and hopeful in spirit, a joy to read.
armchaircriticFLA