How to Love

This book is about the mistakes we make in forming relationships. especially those close connections that lead to marriage. We know from divorce statistics that our lunges into matrimony turn out to be calamitous misjudgments at least half the time. If we add to that marriages that endure but are unsatisfying it is clear that we are not making informed choices about whom to marry. There is a body of knowledge about personality structure that suggests that certain traits, notably self-absorption on the one hand and kindness on the other, that are discernible early in life and are remarkably stable over time. If this i formation can be taught to us while we are young, we might have a better chance of choosing people to avoid and people to cherish with beneficial effects on our long term happiness.

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